mentally handicapped

A trip to the moon

2009-08-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

Directed by Georges Melies in 1902.
When I was 7 I wanted to be an astronaut
I've always really wanted to go to the moon.
If anyone knows where I can find this film it will be greatly appreciated.

Civic Insecurities

2009-07-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

She is only missing the tanorexia

Pieces of reality

2009-06-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

Gell-Man

Dirac

Feynman

*The illusion of reality*
You can watch it at http://freeonlinedocumentary.com/the-illusion-of-reality/

Social Control

2009-05-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

Pop Culture

2009-05-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

And just like Pop Culture, our religious leaders are full of shit

TRANS SIBERIAN RAILROAD

2009-04-03T14:34:00.001-07:00

The Trans-Mongolian Route: Moscow - Ulaanbaatar - Beijing. I will see Siberian plains and forests, Mongolian steppe and even a part of Gobi desert along this route that goes through Mongolia to China.

I will then visit Tibet, fly to India and end in Sri Lanka.

*This is scheduled for next summer, hopefully I'll be around by then!

1

2009-03-31T17:47:00.000-07:00

l(a

le
af
fa

ll

s)
one
l

iness

- E.E. Cummings

The perfect thought when you are in w.o.o.d.l.a.n.d.s, TEXAS!

A fact about intrapersonal relationships

2009-03-20T20:23:00.000-07:00

(my camera went to rehab, she will come home soon!)

A tribute to the VAGINA

2009-03-03T12:55:00.000-08:00

-artist Thomas Bayrle

In Western culture, the vagina has been thought as inferior to the penis, a void, weak and penetrable, to be conquered by masculinity. Today, thanks to three waves of feminism, women and their vagina's are on the verge of total freedom....NO MORE MALE OPPRESSION!

Penis envy is sooo last century....except if your a Muslim or a Hasidic Jew woman....sorry!

Barcelona

2009-03-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

What else is there?

February 19

2009-02-19T21:02:00.000-08:00

2 black coffees
1 bag of chips
1 latte
1 pint of Chunky Monkey
8 cigarettes
4 bottles of water
- and the anxiety is a persisting cunt
1 hour running
- and the anxiety is the biggest persisting cunt
1 salad
2 bottles of water
- and the anxiety is still the biggest persisting cunt
2 sleeping pills
2 cigarettes
- fucking perpetual anxiety...I'm getting tired (yesss).....this can't be healthy!

Confidence is overrated

2009-02-19T19:58:00.000-08:00

Elena get over yourself
Elena get over yourself
Elena get over yourself

Fuck....then Maria buys me a book with the dedication below:

Don't feed my over-inflated ego please!
ELENA GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF
Focus: humility...humility...humility...humility

on a Monday

2009-01-27T18:02:00.000-08:00

I'm facing an imagination deficit; hence, I thought P.S.1 would cure me. No cure yet but museums make me happy, it's all about the sensory overload. The visuals, audio, and interaction made it a cathartic experience, as well as being in Jose's company who makes everything even more amazing.

Olafur Eliasson's installation on the elevator.

Eliasson's huge rotating mirror on the ceiling, and we took our time!

Børre Sæthre's ethereal installation.

Sæthre's unicorn. When you walk by the mirror, it creates an optical illusion...it is visually fascinating. I hope I had a video....fuck....I hope I could have the unicorn in my apartment.

Sorry Damien Hirst but the unicorn beats your decaying shark any day....

Leaondro Erlich's Swimming Pool.

Tom's number. I found it on the floor at Robert Boyd's Conspiracy Countdown video installation neatly folded. I texted him to satisfy my curiosity and ask him if he had left it on purpose. He texted me back saying he's never been to P.S.1.

I find it incredibly interesting where some things just end up.

After P.S.1 I headed over to Park Slope in Brooklyn just to walk around. How long until it gets completely Manhattanized?......Save Brooklyn's Industrial Heritage!

on a Monday.

Growing up

2009-01-18T19:58:00.000-08:00

There are instances, microscopic fragments in time were everything makes sense, when life is perfect.....an epiphany. This moment happened when I was walking in Allen St. under the snow...it is extremely cheesy........but I haven't felt this peace in a really long time so I needed to write about it. I've been struggling with immaturity and impulsive reckless behavior for a long time. I'm going nowhere with my life and its time to change. If I don't become responsible and productive today, I will have wasted more time and accomplish nothing. I've been saying this for the past year and have been unable to commit to it , which is why I'm writing about it...........I can't make more excuses.....its lame. This time I need to stick to it for my sanity....and I know I don't believe in God but its time.....I need some faith because being existentialist is really not helping me at all ( nonetheless...Sartre you will always be my favorite author).

I'm experiencing a natural high......finally! No more nothingness........no more stupid self pity......I need to make some sacrifices..........I need to be in control.............I need to shut up because I feel like a motivational speaker, and I hate motivational speakers (one step at a time).

On a last note "Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.” - Allen Ginsberg

I want to be Matthew Barney

2009-01-17T19:31:00.000-08:00

Matthew Barney's Cremaster cycle "is without parallel in contemporary culture - an odyssey of pyscho-sexual drive and desire, spanning five films set in different geographical locations, from a stadium in his home town of Boise, Idaho, to an opera house in Budapest. Dense, compacted and multi-layered, the cycle reaches back to the mythology, biology and geology of creation and forward into a world of modified genetics and mutating identity. Our culture attempts to articulate such changes, but struggles to keep pace with the speed of development". - Tate Magazine

He is an aesthetic and visual genius. Everything in The Cremaster Cycle is just beautifully thought and executed. He has one of the most creative brilliant minds and I want to touch, feel, and experience that mind.....Bjork you really are a lucky lady!

Soul Searching

2009-01-14T11:30:00.000-08:00

I watched Seinfeld yesterday (never really liked it)...the fragmented space, the nihilistic characters...the postmodern life....the truth about new york really being sex and the city....the drugs...the music...the media....MTV, and how much I fucking hate MTV..... fashion.....tecnology......the obscene shallowness of it all. I am just disgustingly terrified about humanity and myself........In the end I'm just the unusual usual who understands that God died.....we killed him.

Carl Sagan always searched, it was not about the aliens but about a soul search. "The Cosmos is all that is or ever was or ever will be", and I wonder what us as humans amount to in this eternal universe.......petty humans with petty ideas....but surely hue egos.

I'm in the search of humility....the search of identity........the search of knowledge...........the soul search.........the hardest thing I will ever do.

Attn: Generation Y

2009-01-07T18:53:00.000-08:00

It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures, but the foolish to be a slave to them.

~ Epictetus (50 - 120)

Be aware of invisibility

2009-01-07T17:50:00.000-08:00

2008

2008-12-31T13:09:00.000-08:00

This is what 2008 was like for me. Thank you Siouxsie And The Banshees

Overground

Got to give up life in this netherworld
got to go up to where the air is stale
and live a life of pleasantrie
mingle in the modern families
Overground-from abnormality
Overboard-for identity
Overground-for normality
Overboard-on identity

This limbo is no place
to be a digit (in)-Another space
in another crowd
I'm nameless bound

Overground-from abnormality
Overboard-for identity
Overground-for normality
Overboard-on-for identity

Overground-I'll be worse than me
Overground-it's clear to me

I'll be worse than me

Dea´s Macrocosm

2008-12-28T18:03:00.000-08:00

Dea´s Macrocosm has no limits, laws, preconceived ideas. In her space we are not product of society, history or media....WE ARE. Reality has many dimensions and we can walk on ceilings, walls and floors....WALKING is just language technicality. Freedom unknown to men, and where language is not a barrier nor the creation of anything...our thoughts domain.

Andy Warhol´s look-a-like lives among us (so they say), because in this space we are unaware of who Andy is...however we agree he must have tremendous personality.

Black and white halls, a dual dimension.

A hammer, a man with a needle in his forehead, keys......all in their own new context. Different perceptions. Different thoughts. Different attitudes...but most importantly it is all relative.

The mirror does not reflect us, for we are not matter but something more...spirits of a sort.

And when Dea is materialized she is a narcissistic poet with intimidating talent.

Oh, and who is that she is showing affection to? No one other than Karime....her chicken-women-castrated-amputated-phallic-object of desire-and so much more.

The house I once lived in

2008-12-26T19:21:00.001-08:00

After 9 years, for some inexplicable reason I went to the house I once lived in.
I spent most of my childhood there, a "simpler life".
Mom says she was happier then...
Dad is happier now with his big, bigger, biggest house....
And as for me, no matter where I live I’m still unhappy.
I’m not really unhappy, just extremely bored.

I wonder who lives in the house I once lived in.
I wonder a lot of things.
I don’t miss the house I once lived in.
I miss the number 22 though....I like even numbers.
The only odd number I like is 5.
How convenient because we all know 2+2=5.
I do however miss my apartment in Brooklyn.
Its apartment 3d.
3d stands for three dimensional...how appropriate.
Although I do believe in a fourth dimension.
An extra degree of freedom; a spatial dimension.

I’ve rambled long enough.
It’s time to sleep.
Hopefully I’ll have a nice dream.

O Tristan, Where Art Thou?

2008-12-25T16:49:00.000-08:00

The Great Lament Of My Obscurity Three

where we live the flowers of the clocks catch fire and the plumes encircle the brightness in the distant sulphur morning the cows lick the salt lilies
my son
my son
let us always shuffle through the colour of the world
which looks bluer than the subway and astronomy
we are too thin
we have no mouth
our legs are stiff and knock together
our faces are formeless like the stars
crystal points without strength burned basilica
mad : the zigzags crack
telephone
bite the rigging liquefy
the arc
climb
astral
memory
towards the north through its double fruit
like raw flesh
hunger fire blood

Tristan Tzara

The Superhuman Dealer

2008-12-23T23:54:00.000-08:00

BULLSHIT
Today I met the Superhuman Dealer.
The Superhuman Dealer said he’s been doing yoga for 12 years.
He is also a magician, but couldn’t talk about it....its forbidden.
He also practices Kabala and mentioned Quiron.
He said he was a junkie, and yoga and spirituality cleaned him up.
I was confused so I asked him.....how can you be spiritual, clean, and sell drugs?
To what he replied....if you understand Nietzsche’s Superhuman, and the law of cause=effect then you will understand.
I said I didn’t understand.
He said he was going for a magic book and coming back.
He never came back
I just wish he would have shared whatever drug he was on.
Seemed like fun.

5 things I don´t undesrtand

2008-12-23T15:38:00.004-08:00

1.) Scientology
2.) Soft-core porn
3.) The Day the Earth Stood Still movie ……..Did no one see the previews?
4.) Reggaeton
5.) Why Michael Jackson is not making music; and of course all his other eccentricities

Bill Groundhog-Day, Ghostbustin'-ass Murray

2008-12-18T20:01:00.000-08:00

I don’t have many idols, actually I do but I’m to "cool" to admit it (anyone who writes “cool” referring to themselves is seriously pathetic…I’m pathetic). Anyways, today was a great afternoon. My soul mate/partner in crime/evil twin/24 hour party people/Mitch came over (like she does every day) and we watched coffee and cigarettes. All I can say about this movie is I love you Bill Murray. Bill Murray makes me so happy and I wish he was my friend, or my dad, or my uncle, or my butcher, or my toy, or my lover,......anything! I just need you to know that I would do almost anything for you Bill Murray, and for you too Mitch. God bless you Bill Murray and may you be an actor until your 248!!!

Lie To Me

2008-12-17T11:34:00.000-08:00

Tom Waits

Speechless.....

Dad´s Portrait

2008-12-16T21:41:00.000-08:00

You certainly have a juicy pussy

p.s. Thank you for not visiting me in the hospital....really........your check was all I needed. Happy Holidays and have a great trip wherever it is you are going!!!!!!

Love you .............oh and please send me more money!

Letter to globalization

2008-12-12T01:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Globalization,

I’m writing just to let you know that I think you are extremely detrimental to culture, and originality. You have managed to create an almost homogenized global culture, and you have spread western ideas so widely that almost all modern countries or cultures are defined by aspects of western culture (just what the world needs........ideas of “progress¨”, “freedom”, “democracy”……ideas deriving from tampered information for social control.) Anyways, not wanting to be a hypocrite I will accept that I am a product of globalization and will not complain (thank you Internet).

p.s. I just realized that the purpose of this letter is that it really has no purpose. Sorry that I made you read it.

Sincerely,

Elena

for myself

2008-12-12T01:10:00.000-08:00

-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.
-What are you waiting for?, just fucking do it.

-live,create, learn................just fucking do it.

Mommy Dearest.........are you happy now?

2008-12-08T22:03:00.001-08:00

My mom has 171 books in her bookshelf. 157 of them are about self improvement.

Codependence

Adulthood Crisis

From Darkness To Light

When Food Becomes A Substituve For Love

In Search Of Peace

The Power Of Now

Mommy I wish it were that easy.

p.s. I just wish you had one titled ¨ Overcoming Menopause¨

mexico landing

2008-12-07T02:51:00.000-08:00

After a memorable night I'm on my way to Mexico.
Happy landing!

Multiple Personalities

2008-12-04T19:50:00.000-08:00

My alter egos......

In memory of Jdimytai Damour

2008-12-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

Jdimytai Damour was a Wal-Mart employee who got killed on Black Friday by a stampede of shoppers (animals) who smashed through the store's front doors and trampled him.
It is obscene that people have no regard for human life, when it comes to satisfying the psychological needs! The economy is in a recession and funds are low for everyone; however, to spend your last dollar and take someone's life, JUST TO GET A "DEAL," is far beyond my understanding.....And to those who were there and did nothing about it I have just one thing to say to you.....KARMA

I send my condolences to his family.

my life

2008-12-02T13:51:00.000-08:00

Time is unkind. One more year has passed and my accomplishments don't amount to anything even worth mentioning. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and realize my youth was spent on dreams. Tic tac tic tac what am I going to do about it?

My 22nd "surprise" birthday party

2008-12-01T21:48:00.000-08:00

Thank you to my friends who are organizing a "surprise" party for me on Wednesday. Now if I had ever given you my blog's URL when you asked for it you would know that I know about my surprise party. I will see you on Wednesday and fake excitement. Note to all, I hate surprise birthday parties. I love you all and this post is dedicated to all of you (after all, I don't want to ruin your surprise and I will be very very very surprised)

I love all of you and thank you darlings!

Dedicated to my favorite person

2008-12-01T19:35:00.000-08:00

Te amo

Mr. Poppins

2008-12-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

I love you Mr. Poppins

Truth hurts

2008-11-30T19:24:00.000-08:00

"you are not serious about anything" he said
He's right................"although I do want to save the world".
"It's probably for selfish reasons" he said
He's right again........"although I do want to save the world".
I'm not sleeping in that bed again.
Oh well, I’ll find another bed……

Who is Lesa Hanna?

2008-11-29T19:13:00.000-08:00

Walking through midtown I found an ID badge. It belongs to Lesa Hanna. I'm almost sure she is a dentist. I tried googling her but couldn't find her. Now, I'm obsessed in revealing her identity. I feel were connected; after all, I have something that belongs to her.
If anyone knows who she is let me know. And Lisa if you ever come across my blog contact me or don't.

Meanwhile, I will put a face to your name! This is what I think you might look like:

You certainly have great teeth Lesa!

Trivialities I hate

2008-11-28T21:19:00.000-08:00

Musicals
Wasabi
Knock Knock jokes
Celebrity babies names
Valentine's Day
Nail art (which is NOT art)
People who get tattoos in a language they can’t understand. (Guilty)
The sound of Styrofoam
Motivational speakers
Ear hair
Fake tans
La Macarena
Fat Free foods
Dirty Dancing
Boy bands/Girl bands
Long earrings
99.9% of magazines
Neon plates (anything in Neon, except The Neon Rider.com)
Fake accents
Organized hippies
Talking on the phone
The smell of gak

We were animals. We are animals

2008-11-28T17:12:00.000-08:00

I can't remember what we look like without these masks on. Oh well, it’s for the better......

Medium

2008-11-28T16:52:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who is a medium.
I think he can talk to spirits.
I wonder what the spirits say.

Buy Nothing Day

2008-11-28T16:02:00.000-08:00

This post is in response to Black Friday

Creative Destruction

2008-11-28T15:57:00.000-08:00

Thank you Adam Smith!

The meaning of IT

2008-11-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

IT IS EVERYTHING

IT is me

IT is you

IT are objects

IT are places

IT are dreams

IT are moments

IT are memories

IT are colors

IT is suffering

IT is happiness

IT is real

IT is unreal

IT is the abbreviation of Information Technology

IT are all the networks in the universe

But most importantly:

IT IS ALL RELATIVE

the hardest lesson I have yet to learn - or is it?

2008-11-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

Impermanence

2008-11-08T15:23:00.000-08:00